“Who is going to stay with your aunt when she goes home?” the man asked of the gruff female voice on the other end of the phone.
The woman explained, “I moved my niece in there a few weeks back,” and suddenly stopped speaking.
She started hacking a harsh cough directly into the mouthpiece of her phone which came out crystal clear into the man’s ear.
Holding the phone away from his head as the coughing continued, the man rolled his eyes. Have another cigarette, why don’t you, he thought to himself.
Finally, the hacking stopped. “It’s just my asthma and COPD acting up again,” she explained.
“Does your aunt know that this person is living in her home?” he asked with an incredulous tone.
“Sure, she knows. We’re just about splitting the rent money in half. I keep a little more because I’ve set the whole thing up. I’m kind of like her business manager. Before this niece, I moved in a cousin and he shacked up with some woman. They weren’t even married and they were just hanging out there, sleeping and partying.”
Leaning back in his office chair, the man started to spin left and then right. “So what happened to them?”
“Oh, I kicked them to the curb,” she said very matter-of-factly.
“Your cousin?” the man asked to clarify.
Ignoring his question, the woman continued. “I kicked him and the woman out to the curb when I found out that she was living there, too. Excuse me for saying this, but he’s just a pure piece of trash. Plus, he wasn’t paying rent, so he’s gone.”
“Let me see if I understand. You’ve been renting your Aunt Betty’s house out while she’s been in rehab for a stroke that left her paralyzed and unresponsive. You’re only renting to your relatives who pay rent on time and are also willing to take care of Aunt Betty when she returns home. She’s totally in agreement with this and you are only working in her best interest. Does that sound right?”
“Yes, I knew you were listening,” the woman exclaimed with joy and started coughing again.
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