Guide to mastering a job that any monkey could do


  1. Don’t think about it too much
  2. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil
  3. Keep plenty of bananas on hand
    1. The fruit of the banana is a quick pick-me-up when you’re feeling low about doing the job of a monkey
    2. The peel of the banana is good for comedic relief.  Try throwing the skin down in the break room next time your boss comes through and isn’t paying attention, just to see what happens (hint: you might not have to come to work tomorrow)
  4. Keep a careful watch out for energetic young workers who get hired to do the same job and begin to secretly train them on rules 1-3
  5. Remember, if no one tries too hard, then everyone looks good

*Note: List compiled by a disgruntled human doing the work of a monkey that no monkey would agree to do


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dalo 2013
    Mar 18, 2014 @ 01:00:32

    I think #5 is a train of thought that has settled into most cultures of huge corporations…


    • puneybones
      Mar 18, 2014 @ 01:14:51

      You are right about that- it’s a sad state of affairs when just getting by is good enough.


      • Dalo 2013
        Mar 18, 2014 @ 01:23:43

        Actually, I also think that becomes the case if you stay at a job/position too long ~ a certain apathy is unavoidable. I think good companies mix things up a bit 🙂

      • puneybones
        Mar 18, 2014 @ 01:30:50

        Lol, like foregoing bonuses for “fruit buddies” this year. Trust me, I was thrilled to get a zippered pouch to hold an apple over extra $$$.

  2. bluemoth13
    Mar 22, 2014 @ 21:33:26

    Sunshine, you forgot the funnest thing that monkeys do: social grooming. Picking bugs out of each other’s fur and munching on them is a great activity. Our form of this is picking lint off a coworker’s shoulder and flicking it away. My comment doesn’t have too much to do with your listing. I couldn’t resist adding this comment.


  3. Rachael Charmley
    Mar 31, 2014 @ 12:05:07

    Brilliant. Also monkeys play a lot, have lots of sex, and lie around… 🙂


  4. Rachael Charmley
    Mar 31, 2014 @ 12:05:42

    Argh! I feel a haiku coming on…


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