I did a bad thing. Or I almost did.

I would have gone through with it, too, if it hadn’t been for some jerk doing their job in a complete and efficient manner.  

One way or another, I ended up on a list that indicated I should get the Covid-19 vaccine. I received an email inviting me to make an appointment for the first of two shots. The potential side effects were included with the number to call in the event of a severe allergic reaction and a warning of people who should not get vaccinated.   

While the possibilities of swelling at the injection site, fatigue, body aches and a low grade fever were not something to anticipate with pleasure, it all seemed better than contracting the actual virus or worse yet, spreading it unbeknownst to me, to someone without the ability to fight it, like my baby or sweet Granny.

At first, I was concerned that I didn’t meet the requirements. Then the thought took over that I could return to public without the constant fear of getting and spreading the virus and felt my anxiety drastically decrease. It was like someone just sliced open a big emotional lipoma. I felt the anxiety drain out, thick and clumpy, and was surprised at the emptiness left behind as I had held it in for so long, nearly a year of worry and uncertainty.

Now, I could take back my life. I wanted to be a linejumper. I was going to face my fear that the vaccine had been rushed through the trials and offered to the public prematurely, I was willing to deal with the side effects, and least of all was concerned that I didn’t exactly check all of the boxes for this early vax phase.

It was selfish, I know.

Still, I told my family and friends about my opportunity and encouraged them to sign up as soon as possible, as well. It became my duty to spread the word and get others on board, to sway those who were undecided as a means to end the madness of 2020 instead of letting it, quite literally, infect 2021. I was an unofficial vaccination soldier.

Until I wasn’t.

Apparently, someone was actually reviewing the sign-up forms which required information like name, address and employer. And apparently being self-employed was not an acceptable answer to move forward to the big poke. 

My anxiety wasn’t worse or bigger than anyone else’s monsters, it just seemed like the vaccine would offer a bit of breathing room in this world that is otherwise suffocating with massive problems like global warming, political discord and the unchecked pandemic. I saw my chance for a little peace, and I took it.  

Needless to say, my appointment was cancelled and here I am, a penitent linejumper to-be, still unvaccinated, and back in queue, just after prisoners and homeless people.

3 thoughts on “Coronavirus Confessional

  1. Well the side effects listed are exactly the same as the flu shot this year and the Shingrix shot also a two shot deal. The flu shot made me feel ill for about 1.5 days, Shingrix 2.5 days. So that seems consistent with other vaccinations. However, Covid Vacs are different technology with the mRNA and teaching the body to make the protein… and all that. So we are learning and some of us may react differently. When the chance comes around my way I will probably go ahead and get it too. But, in the meantime feel very content and secure in following the mask, handwashing, and distancing protocols. All very logical to me. Beyond prudence, just still have to live your life,right? Just stay 6′ away from those other linejumpers!!

    Happy 2021!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The science behind this new vaccine is so interesting. I hope there are no long term effects that we aren’t aware of yet just because there hasn’t been enough time for study. Still, I will get one when I can. Thanks for your reassurance and comment. Stay healthy!

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      1. That’s my feeling too. We don’t have the benefit of experience in this, but I am inclined to get the vaccine. While I’d prefer natural immunity, not sure I REALLY want the equally new experience of being sick from Covid. Always on the horns of a dilemma, that’s life.

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