“Well, guess where I’m heading?” Daddy Longlegs asked.
We had been playing phone tag all morning and finally connected after a few rings.
I couldn’t even begin to guess; he was a man of great mystery and intrigue. Sometimes he would call on his way to Lowe’s or the bank with a similar impossible query.
I always guessed wrong.
“The Home Depot?”
“Nope, good guess though.”
He stoked my ego a little to encourage the guessing game.
“I give up, where are you going?”
“Back to Publix.”
“Weren’t you just there?” I asked.
“Why, yes, yes I was but when I got home, I found out my chicken was missing.”
He laid out all the facts like he was narrating for CSI- middle of nowhere, Tennessee, special edition.
He was at the grocery store, put the chicken into the cart with the other list items, including: yogurt, bread, bananas and instant oatmeal. He checked out and drove home, nothing unusual there. Then he unloaded the groceries and discovered the chicken was missing.
“So what did you do?”
“I called right up there and said, ‘Hey, do you have my chicken?’”
“And what happened next?”
I was on pins and needles.
“They said, ‘Well, yes, we do have your chicken. We just put it back in the meat department.’”
We both were glad they weren’t holding onto the chicken at the front like a lost purse or blankie.
“So, I said I will be right there to pick it up and they said, ‘Take your time, we’ll get your chicken back to you.’”
“How is that for customer service?” I asked. I really wasn’t sure.
“They were going to keep my chicken,” he said, still incensed at the bird-napping.
I can only guess that Daddy Longlegs is going to propose keeping chickens, to cut out the middleman, but again, it is hard to tell with a man of such mystery.