Old G is far from playful these days. He is, in fact, downright grumpy.
Just today, I walked into the office and was greeted with a bah-humbug-its-Monday type of hello. It’s nothing new or surprising. This endearing mix of a grunt and a one handed wave of recognition is what welcomes me into work most lately. It is also what triggered an increase in my time dedicated to casually observing/spying on my co-worker.
My study of the indigenous male, known as Old G, revealed the following:
He starts the day by staring at his email on the computer screen for a few hours. This gets him through to lunch. The screen rarely changes. A spam email occasionally pops up. When this happens, Old G slowly raises his head from his chest and brings his hand to the mouse to open the important message with savings from Kohl’s or a change in the member benefits from a gym to which he does not belong. He clicks on the delete button and returns to his previous position.
Sometimes I send him a test email to see if he is awake. When he doesn’t look up, I question whether the test is still effective. Then I call him on the phone from a blocked number. *67 or is it *69? I get the numbers mixed up which skews the test results.
Old G sees its me calling and asks, “Puney, what do you want?”
I have to play it cool and say, “My bad,” and wait until he falls back into his relaxed state so I can resume the study.
He gets other calls through the day from his wife, cousin, mother, mother-in-law, ect. The list is quite extensive of these personal callers to whom he always speaks in the same secretive and hushed tones, perhaps afraid of someone eavesdropping on his boring conversations. He forgets that I have excellent hearing, especially when it comes to listening to his personal phone calls. If I had more time, I would inventory these callers and the nature of the calls but I have the work of two people to keep up with while he naps and whispers the day away.
Fortunately, I have broad shoulders on which to bear this burden. All I want out of the deal in which I do all of the work and Old G chills out at his desk is a little smile and friendly wave. My study concludes with the certain knowledge that Old G is capable of at least this much.